My Letter to an Ex

Dear Ex,

I honestly can't remember the first time we met, but i recall it was through your friend Obta whom i was dating at the time. I never saw you as good looking but snobbish and rude. The first time you said hello to me, i was too shocked to reply. I always figured you never did notice me. I and Obta broke up in September 2008 and i recall you sending me a message on facebook to see how i was doing. Then months later we started flirting and though i didn't like you, I loved the attention.

By June 2009, we had become close. Then i fell ill with chickenpox and you came to visit me everyday even when my face looked like a that of a troll from Lord of the Rings. I fell for you when you began helping me rub calamine lotion on my back to help with the itch. My face was so bumpy and i looked ugly. We began dating soon after that. When i found out that you had another girl, you denied it to me and i believed you. But a mutual friend would tell me in October 2009 that you were still with this girl. I called you up and broke it off. On that same day, you broke it off with her. I did not believe you until I and Obta went to the cinema later that night and he confirmed it.  By the next day you and I were back together and you paid for a holiday trip abroad for the both of us. Everytime was fine after that. You started bringing up talks about marriage.

Then the issue of Miss 6 foot 7 came up. It was public knowledge that you'd been kpoxing this girl for ages. Yet you assured me it was over and i chose to believe you. I believed you through her phone calls in the weird hours of the day. I believed you through the uncomfortable encounters. Do you want to know how i felt that saturday night when i found out that you and this girl were still seeing each other? Talking about stuff you wanted to do to yourselves? Do you fucking want to know how i felt when i found out you were going to her office and home to see her? This stupid chit who would see me in public and be nice to me, laugh with me, meanwhile she got designs on my damn man? The betrayal, the pain, the shock, the realiisation...all on that saturday night.

I called you into the room and asked you about this story but you tried to deny it. I'm not exactly sure what you saw on my face but you finally affirmed my suspicions. I broke down-right in front of you-i broke down and wept. Tears that showed my heart was breaking, tears for a love i knew i no longer needed. Then you broke down in tears. This was too rich and amidst my watery eyes, i started laughing. Didn't my brother El Ninio once tell me that guys were Oscar award winning actors? I asked to be taken home and you did. I cried all the way, got into my room and found out you had deleted me from your list of BB contacts. What utter fuckery.

Next day and not a single word from you.

Two days later you send me a BB request which i declined. You go ahead to send me seven pin messages apologising, swearing heaven and earth that you loved me and that Miss 6ft7 was only an insignificant spec of dust next to me. Oh! So you realise that now? Your dick didn't think about that when it entered her did it? What the hell do i care now if you finally understand that your actions hurt the one you say you love? The one you claim to want to be with and the one of whom without, life is not worth living? You say you don't deserve me? Of course you don't deserve me you lying, cheating, trifling, low life, godforsaken reptile. Getting your friends to call me won't help you, calling my friends on the other hand will only worsen your case. You are now single, so is she-why not go ahead and continue doing your thing? All of a sudden the both of you despise each other. How stupid of you to put your relationship on the line over that piece of shit.

Three days later you call my agent and ask her to send me a ticket for the UK but she refuses. Then you send a bouquet of roses and a box of heart shaped Hershey's chocolate from Gethsemane to my office. Attached is a note saying you will keep fighting until you win back my affections. lol. Dude haven't you learned anything? I hate flowers. Lucky for you, my boss wouldn't let me chunk them in the garbage so i gave it all out.

I would have walked the ends of this earth for you. I stuck by you when people told me you were hopeless. They said i was settling by dating you. I forewent my exercises just to watch you play football and basketball three times a week. Did i ever give you reason to doubt that i cared about you? How could you have been so quick to forget what it took for me to trust you again? What did i possibly do to deserve such betrayal for the second time running? I have nothing more to say to you that my tears haven't already done. You would be wise to leave me alone. I am rebuilding my life-a life that you would never again be a part of.

I'm taking on the world and it had better be fucking ready for me. My Phury has just been unleashed.