First of all, my unlimited respect,
value and salutation to all and their personal opinions.
I hate anal sex. I hate what it stands for, I hate the thought of it and I hate the practice of it. No fuck that, I’m scared shitless of anal sex. Have I ever had anal sex?
NO! But I’ve had an anal experience that has put me off the whole thing for
LIFE. I would dispense that story as you read on.
I find the very thought of it
selfish and a tad bit degrading. Selfish because I really doubt anyone but the
guy attains sexual pleasure from it. Research has shown that the walls of the
anus are so tight that the rectum practically sucks up the penis like a vacuum
which must be a truly great experience for the guy. So he cums and that ends
that? Where’s the pleasure for the woman? Even if you decide to maybe stroke
her clitoris while you analyse her, she would probably be too worried and
tensed to reach an orgasm. We’re not even talking about the germs in the anus
that can cause all kinds of infections. First of all, the anus must be
lubricated to avoid pain and discomfort. The wall of the rectum is very thin and
permeable that the man must go really gently so as to avoid tear or cause
internal bleeding which may or may not be repairable. The chick is also likely
to end up with permanent damage to her bowel movement. There are also those
guys who don’t use condoms and cum in the butt. Do you know that semen mixed
with contents of the rectum can make her really sick? What then is the point of
mind altering sex if I can’t be relaxed or ask my partner to go fast when I’m
on the throes of pleasure? Talking about one must not poopoo at least two hours
before anal, must take a shower and use a douche to scent that place incase he
wants to lick it. Like WTF!!! How many guys do you know will go down and lick
an anus or put their fingers in one? Don’t worry-I’ll wait. Then again ladies, maybe
your first rule to those anxious guys should be you can’t poke it unless you’re
willing to lick it first.
Think about it for a minute though.
The rectum was not designed to have things go in; only out. The vagina
stretches to let in a penis and let out a child, but the anus does not. Hence
regular use of it for sex will cause it to lose its elasticity and you may need
to start wearing diapers or get stitched up. We women are so conscious of our
bodies that it sometimes leads to nervousness during normal intercourse. Now,
imagine if it was anal sex-she will probably be having thoughts like I just
pooed isn’t my hole smelling, what if he puts his fingers there and it comes
out with shit? I mean, why would any girl in her right mind be naked and allow
a man’s penis enter there? I would personally be mortified. The smell, the
germs, the bacteria-a huge fucking turn off. It would feel so sick, twisted and
perverted. My friend Owolabi says "I agree that
with some men it is a taboo and I’m sure that guys like me enjoy it more
because we feel we are taking something that is not freely given. I think if it
was in my case, when a chick says, ‘yeah, do me in the butt anytime you want, I love it and blah blah blah’, guys wouldn’t want it that much. I think
deep down it’s the control factor and when the control is gone, the need is
gone as well. I remember during NYSC, this chick said she didn’t like it but
did it with two nice guys and at the time couldn’t sit for over a week. Two
“nice” guys? If you don’t like it, why are you doing it? No wonder you can’t
sit."
Okay, so my own meandering
experience goes thus. I had a running stomach for almost 3weeks in March last
year and after several urine, blood and stool tests which all proved negative,
I decided to see a doctor about it. Biggest mistake of my life. I get there and
he asks me the usual questions. Do you have rashes, swelling or blood around
your butt? To which I reply in the negative. My mom insisted on going with me there
to make me feel all comfy and stop the doctor from having any weird ideas. But
I think she was really worried. Then he asks me to push up my dress, take off
my panties and lie down on my side so he can check for swelling or blood. I’m
like huh? Dude I just fucking told you I had none of that. I hesitate further
when I see him putting on gloves and I’m like errrr… do you plan on sticking
your fingers up my butt? He smiled and said I should just lie down and relax. I
do so and as he sticks his finger up and around my butt to check for
hemorrhoids and crap, I cringe in pain. It feels like three hours when its
finally over but it was just about 45 seconds. He says there’s a little swelling
but he needs to take a closer look. Now I’m even more confused than a blind
lesbian in a fish shop. A closer look how? Do I have to pull my butt cheeks apart
so you can peer inside? This man actually laughs. He goes over to some locker
and brings out a periscope the size of a three month old puppy. I shit you not.
It looked like the spaceship in ET. I thought to myself-there is no fucking way
that 3month old puppy is going to fit in my ass. He laughs again and says ‘that
is because this part does not go up there’. This guy is deranged I tell you. Like
he’s enjoying my discomfort in a sick way. Out of the alien he pulls out this
penis looking thing and says ‘this does’. He rubs some ky jelly and explains to
my mom that it is to make it glide in easier… and that’s when I freak out. Fuck
No! Fuck No!!! you’re not going to sodomise me with that shit. I don’t care
what you think. Fuck that. My mom tells me I’m acting like a baby. I look at
her like are you going to sit there and let them analise your daughter? She
calls my sister, a doctor, who tells me I have to do it just to be sure I
haven’t gotten internal bleeding and what not from the constant stooling. How
is that even possible? People shit all the damn time.
I’m so pissed off when I lie
down. I squeeze my butt so tight and start reciting psalm23. The KY jelly obviously
doesn’t work. How can it? The thing he’s trying to shove inside me is like
6inches, but my butt is squeezed so tight that only about two inches go in
before I start uttering profanities. At the end, It was weird, painful and hurt
like a muthafucker. Plus the doctor didn’t find anything. I wanted to slam his
head on the wall. My butt felt violated and he gave me
some medication and anusol. Getting fucked in the butt by a fucking microscope
is not something I would ever want to relieve ever again- and one stupid guy
will now tell me to open my butt for him to go in? The male gspot is located in
the anus right? How about if I anal-ysed you instead? No? Yeah.. I didn’t think
so.
Anal sex isn’t just for the
sexually daring anymore,
but don’t let that fool you. If you enjoy doing it then by all means carry on. But if you hate it and you’re doing it just to please your man-then
you need to consider whether he truly respects and likes you. Backdoor play is
a different beast altogether.
PS: Turns out the
stooling was due to some chinese tea I had been drnking. All that pain for
nothing.
